Whatever happened to civility these days?
I guess the “Adeline Chia vs K-Pop nation” saga needs no further introduction.
Basically she penned a column in Life! on 8th Dec slamming the artificiality of the whole K-Pop industry, and naturally incurred the wrath of K-Pop nation.
Her one single status update on her Facebook page (“SHINee + 2PM + 2AM + BoA + TVQX + 2NE1 + JYJ = ? Find out in my Culture Vulture column in Life! today.”) has about 750 comments as of now, mostly from enraged K-Pop fans who took offence to her sacrilegious column.
She also earned the dubious honour of having her name trend on Twitter about one or two days back because of this.
I suppose it’s the first time in her life she’s had her name trend on Twitter, although I don’t think she ever wanted it to trend under such circumstances.
I dunno if I’m being biased here or not, but I just might be.
Cos Adeline Chia writes on theatre, and I’m a big follower of the local theatre scene, so naturally I have developed an affinity towards her as a journalist over the years.
If it were, say, Nicholas Yong or John Lui who penned that column, would I be as sympathetic?
I don’t know.
Anyway, despite the title given to my post, my intention here is not to examine the merits of her column (although, in a nutshell, I tend to agree with most of what she wrote).
I want to talk about the notion of civility in this day and age.
At what point, exactly, did it become socially permissible to randomly insult someone just because you didn’t agree with what she wrote?
At what point did it become acceptable to say things like “STFU!” or “I hope you get fired” or “Prepare to get bashed” or “Are you tone deaf?” or “Laughing at your stupidity” or “You are hopeless” or “We hate you” directly to someone via Facebook or Twitter?
It is this apparent lack of respect and civility in this present Internet age, this shoot-from-the-hip mentality which really worries me.
And most of it comes from the younger generation, sadly.
You write a quasi-controversial column one day, and before you know it half the population below 25 is hurling all kinds of verbal abuse at you and burning you at the stake.
Call me old-fashioned, but I always thought that any negative reaction to another person’s opinions should either be kept to one’s self, or be expressed in an assertive but yet restrained, logical and respectful manner.
I’m old-fashioned that way.
Or maybe “old-fashioned” is just another word for being “civil” nowadays.
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I think the young guns out there are probably very passionate in the things that they like.
It just goes to show that you can’t really comment too much about what they believe to be good for them. I think only their parents have the right to tell them to what proportion they should be focusing on their “idols”.
She is dealing with a type of culture and correct me if I am wrong- a pop culture. Something dynamic, fascinating and attractive to the young people.
The response might seem to be something which we couldn’t find common grounds with (i mean the young people). But then, the kids nowadays are much open and vocal. They say what’s on their mind. They are a clever bunch actually.
We cannot expect everyone to think the same we think, to like what we adore or to agree with us all the time! While it is good to be able to express one’s thought; it is even more important to be gracious when responds to other’s different view especially!
While receiving praises is always easy as they are nice and flattering but it is by knowing how to accept criticisms that can bring us further, in helping us to improve even better; not only in our skill, etc but also in our upbringings (also internally) as a person. They are indeed priceless and valuable!
Just like there is this saying, “Only real friends tell you the truth!” (but I’m not saying to tell it in a mean manner!) I had read Adeline’s article, I find that she was just sharing honesty how she really felt but not meant to be offensive or insulting in any ways.
Therefore, it is not fair for her in getting nasty comments and personal attacks! =(
There is always two sides in everything – the goods and the bads.
(I personally also enjoy quite a number of Korean dramas, songs, music, etc, they are great stuffs too!)
I find that Adeline just listed out what she had researched and experienced, then her opinions on them; I agree with her in most of her points. Though i realise in this article has stated more bad points than the good ones; she has her concerns which I find them vital and worth thinking through seriously (Let’s put the personal emotional aside) – the phenomenon of the K-pop (or any pop-culture), the influences it has brought to people and how it will impact the society as a whole.
As we are what we feed ourselves; we have to be careful as to what we feed ourselves into our bodies, minds and souls! Does the “food” we have taken bring us more “good” or “bad”?
While knowing how to appreciate music, drama or any form of arts (you may call it sometimes) or expressing your admiration for certain artist/s is encouraging; we have to be rational not to lose ourselves, or worst following the crowd blindly! To use wisdom is always the key, though we know we also want to go by the so-called “feel”; we were once upon or are young! So it is naturally and understandable to do certain thing at different age!
The key is not losing yourself! Not losing your focus and not forgetting who you really are! As we are all very special and unique individuals; never allow yourself to be another person without knowing it! It is dangerous! It will be a waste of your own precious self! – Your special gift and talent; Your own unique beauty or handsome – nobody says beauty has to be in certain way! Right? =) What about the “inner” beauty?
Sorry! I’m just speaking my many passing thoughts aloud.
Back to Adeline’s article and the remarks from all directions (I mean the not very nice ones) responded to her sharings.
What she had written and how people react to it are certainly worth our efforts to ponder upon deeply!
Not only for this generation. But also for our next next generation! Actually even the older generation is not spared in certain extent!
Maybe let us start to question ourselves this:
From how we behave and treat others, are we improving or deteriorating in a way?
I guess she would have expected such hostility from K-Pop fans. And youngsters aren’t actually the most rational people to begin with, especially given their “passion” and the influence of the environment. They’ve been exposed to a lot more expletives and the like, with instant expression.
Also, I think this bombardment overwhelming mainly because social media has let us respond so quickly and publicly (which incite more fury than necessary). In the past, I believe there was such response existing, except people send their hate mail via post and we don’t see them.
Sadly, I think we’ll see more of this and parents might not be able to do much or are clueless of how their children are responding?
Anyway, I think her article has some truth in it (I liked her opening reference). How chilling that these stars would not last the decade or maybe even a few years when they are quickly replaced as they grow older and new ‘prettier’ groups.
What happened to civility? Her article wasn’t exactly a shining example of civility itself, in fact it came off as amateurish and sounded more like the rantings of an anti fan.
It is not civil to insult an entire fandom by calling them “weepy eyed”, “cult like” etc. Whilst there are fans who display extreme behaviour, there are also those who are simply normal passionate fans but she made little to no effort to distinguish between the two. When the fans start sacrificing live animals in the name of the artist, then she can call us cult like. It isn’t exactly mature the fans are simply responding to an insult in kind
Whilst I can respect that everyone has the right to an opinion she should have kept her negative anti-kpop sentiments to herself or at least worded it in a more civil manner. Call me old fashioned but articles that openly insult millions of fans worldwide should not be published and if it is published, expect backlash.
On a final note, I’m not familiar with her or her work so I fail to understand why a newspaper/magazine has their theatre journalist ranting about kpop in the first place.
Apologies for the wall of text.