Random Musings

Sigh, I hate to do this but it looks like I have to call out Sumiko Tan once again over her latest column in yesterday’s Sunday Times.

I just couldn’t stop shaking my head while reading it.

Why do you do this to us, Sumiko?

Y’know, I can’t figure out if she’s trying to be humourous, or if she’s intentionally trying to sensationalize her columns and rile up her readers.

It has to be one of the two.

It just has to be.

And since Sumiko has not had a history of writing humour columns, I would have to conclude that she’s just trying to be provocative, because I find it hard to believe that she’s writing her latest column from deep down inside.

It’s just unthinkable that someone could say these things with a straight face.

Er…right?

Someone please tell me I’m right, cos I still want to believe that there is hope for the species known as “woman”.

What exactly am I talking about?

Well, here are some excerpts from her latest column:

“Just 10 months into marriage and I’m afraid I’m turning into a Tiger Wife. (NB: She means “Tiger Wife” as in a ferocious spouse, not as in Elin.)

Yup, that’s the spousal equivalent of Amy Chua’s infamous Tiger Mom.

Slowly and stealthily, I have drawn up a list of rules which I want H to live by.

The list is growing by the day (NB: Poor H!! He’s done for!!), but for now my edicts are:

• No durian – unless I am eating it too.
• Only one prata at a time – although it’s okay if I eat two.
• No chicken skin.
• No duck skin.
• No fatty pork bits.
• No snacking in the kitchen when you come home because when you’re tired and hungry, you’ll pile on unnecessary calories by eating anything that’s there.
• No preserved plums – only pregnant women eat sng buay.
• No more ah boling, that sweet, starchy Chinese dumpling dessert you so like.
• And finally, no motorbike – at least not until your daughter turns 21. I don’t care that she’s now only five…”

Wow, huh?

At this rate, she might as well just lock H into a giant plastic bubble and pass him approved foods through the small opening at appropriate timings.

And that way you can also ensure he never secretly hops onto a motorbike, at least not in the next 16 years.

Seriously folks, I wonder…did H know what he was signing up for when he married her?

I dunno about you guys, but I could never tolerate something like this.

And if you read on in the column, you’d find that she practises double standards – it’s perfectly okay whenever she wants to eat durians, but it is never okay for H to indulge when he feels the urge to do so.

I thought she was supposed to be his wife, not some Ma Junren-type track coach?

Is this a marriage, or does she think she’s preparing H for the London Olympics?

I dunno man…of course I’m not in a position to dictate what they should or should not do as a couple, but I personally believe that in a marriage, both partners should respect each others’ choices, and give each other ample freedom to do what they want, within reason of course.

I think one should learn to cherish one’s husband, and not strip his privileges to the point where he feels like he’s living a semi-deprived life or something.

Not that I don’t think Sumiko cherishes H, but I think that she’s manifesting her love and concern in the wrong way, much like how parents in the old days used to violently beat their kids as a manifestation of their love.

Noble motives, wrong application.

And it smacks of insecurity and immaturity on her part as well.

Sorry, but someone had to say it.