Ok this is pure comedy gold right here folks.
“Six deer escape from Night Safari”
Article (here).
When I read this my mind just went spinning round and round thinking of the comedic possibilities.
Now if I were someone who likes to create spoofs and satires, which obviously I’m not (*wink*), I would come up with a script that goes something like this…
…
(cue news programme background music)
“Breaking news.
Six deer have escaped from the Night Safari on Wednesday morning.
A tree had fallen on the enclosure fence, allowing the deer to escape from the park’s boundaries.
Five of them have been found, but one is still at large.
It is believed to be still within the Night Safari park.
Unless, of course…it is found across the causeway.
It is known to walk with a slight limp in its left hind leg, and the public is urged to alert the authorities if it spots a deer roaming freely with a slight limp.
The deer belongs to the species known as (insert funny name), and is regarded as a highly dangerous breed of deer capable of causing mass destruction if let free in the wild.
Meanwhile, the tree that crushed the enclosure fence has been detained at the Police Headquarters and is assisting police with the investigations.
If convicted of abetting the escape of the six deer, the tree faces a maximum of life imprisonment without parole.
The director of the Night Safari, Mr (insert comical name here), was at a loss in explaining this unfortunate breach in security, all the more so as this has tarnished the impeccable reputation of the Singapore Zoological Gardens, where such security lapses are almost unheard of.
Speaking to reporters at a news conference, Mr (comical name) had said that letting the six deer escape “was an honest mistake”, and that we should all “move on” from this incident.
He urged all Singaporeans to be extra vigilant in looking out for the remaining deer at large.
The assistant director of the Night Safari, Mr (insert comical name), added that this kind of incident would occur only “once in every 50 years”.
The retired former director of the Singapore Zoo, Mr (insert comical name) highlighted that this is a “severe lesson in complacency” for all Singaporeans, and that the security of the deer enclosures is the shared responsibility of all Singaporeans, and we should not expect the Singapore Zoo to take care of such security matters alone.
Stay tuned, as in six days time, the Singapore Zoological Gardens will reveal pictures of what the remaining deer at large might have looked like at the time of its escape.
Although the other five deer might already provide a somewhat good indication, we still await the release of this highly-classified information with baited breath.
This is (comical name of reporter), for (comical name of news station), signing off.”
…
I could go on and on, but I’m no writer of satires.
*wink*
Ah, no wonder it was put to death (if it’s that same deer).