Random Musings

Occasionally I would flip open the pages of the Straits Times.

Not that I find it essential to do so, but you never know when you might chance upon the occasional amusing article.

Yesterday’s Sunday Times had an interesting column by Chua Mui Hoong entitled “Train men to do chores”.

Article (here).

Her main thrust was very simple: She was basically asking why men shouldn’t be made to do as much, if not more chores than women.

She says that since there are many women who work even longer hours than men, she sees no reason why men can’t be made to do the chores, and questions why the traditional conservative mindset of women having to do the chores still exists in our society today.

She claims that one day she will train her man to do the chores.

(It is uncertain, from the way she phrased her words, if she currently has a man or if she is talking about a hypothetical future man. Evidence seems to suggest the latter.)

She even went on to list down several ways in which a woman can wage warfare against her man in order to coerce him into doing the chores, e.g. “cold war”, “guerilla warfare”.

I’m not sure if she was being serious or if she was half-joking…but to be honest, nothing in her column suggested to me that she was saying all this in jest.

Before you misunderstand me, please be clear that it’s not that I disagree with her argument.

I think she makes many valid points.

Yes, from a standpoint of equality, I can see how she feels that men should be made to do an equal amount of the chores as women, if not more.

I think this is only fair – that the man be understanding and sensitive enough to the efforts in which the woman puts in, and offer to assist wherever necessary.

(Sometimes the very fact that you realise how much effort someone puts in and show your sincere appreciation is enough for the person already.)

But I just think that her argument seems to me like a very shallow and poorly thought-out one.

Going to the extent to come up with guerilla tactics to coerce the man into doing chores…I think that’s a tad overdoing it right?

Whatever happened to give and take?

Surely if a man does less of the chores, he makes up for it in other areas of the relationship right?

To be honest, most of us men are hopeless at chores.

Not that I’m trying to make excuses, but there is such a concept as “specialisation”, whereby we focus on what we’re most adept at.

It occurs in the workplace, it occurs in team sports, and it basically occurs in any organisation that practises common sense.

Women tend to be better at household chores, so perhaps they should focus on that.

Men tend to be better at the techie stuff and DIY stuff, so perhaps they should focus on that.

I don’t think both parties should be made to do equal parts of everything just for the sake of equality…cos sometimes that doesn’t necessarily make the most sense in terms of an efficiency standpoint.

I guess Chua Mui Hoong’s mindset is the mindset of most modern Singapore women today.

They are strong, independent and opinionated, and feel that they should be able to stand on equal footing as compared to their male counterparts.

Which is all well and good.

But then, you shouldn’t fault the many Singaporean men for wanting to look to our neighbouring countries for wives, because they feel that these women tend to be more demure, submissive, kind-hearted, accommodating and eager-to-please.

That’s just the way it is nowadays.

So my advice to Chua Mui Hoong is simply this: Equal footing with your man is all well and good…however, first and foremost, you need to find yourself a man in the first place.

P.S. Seriously, this is the kind of articles they put on our national newspaper?

…

I can foresee an argument that goes like this:

Guys would say “You want equality? Let all women serve 2 years of compulsory NS too then!”

Then the women would say “Are you crazy!? In the event of a war, who would stay behind and look after the kids?”

Then the men would say “Why should looking after the kids be only a woman’s job? We can do it as well, can’t we?”

Then the women would say “Yes, but we do it better, so it should be our job.”

To which the men would reply “True. And you do the chores better too. So maybe you should stick to doing chores as well.”

Men win.