A few days back I wrote about the new MCYS ad which I felt was a subtle message for all of us to “lower our expectations” when it comes to finding a life partner.
So anyway, there was yet another huge article on it (here) in today’s Life! section.
Apparently, the ad kinda “borrowed” certain ideas from a certain scene from Good Will Hunting.
Sigh, since when was anything seemingly creative that we’ve done ever original?
*shrug*
Anyway, that’s not the main point of my post.
My point is the continued debate on the point of the government asking people to lower their expectations and settle for imperfections.
Sure, before I go on further I just want to state that I think the MCYS ad is great and thoroughly moving. I’m not surprised that it has moved many people who’ve viewed it, and has also garnered quite a bit of praise at the same time.
However, I’m just questioning the pertinence of the message.
I agree to the extent that nobody is perfect, and that everyone has imperfections, and that it is only through accepting each other’s imperfections that we can enjoy better relationships.
I think this concept works perfectly well for those who are already married.
However, would this message be pertinent to people who are looking for life partners?
Should one harbour the “Well, I really don’t feel that he/she is suitable for me, but I think I’ll just settle for him/her lor…after all, MCYS tells us not to be too choosy” attitude?
Is that what MCYS is trying to tell us to do?
There is a difference between “accepting imperfections” and “lowering one’s standards”, in my opinion.
The way I see it, accepting imperfections is a form of being accommodating, which I think is essential in any existing relationship.
Whereas lowering one’s standards when looking for a potential life partner would be akin to compromising, which I think isn’t always the best idea.
I think we need to make a clear distinction between these two concepts and not lump them together.
Yes, ultimately we trust that God will provide for us…but the question is: Is it wrong for a person to want to choose the best for himself/herself, especially when it comes to choosing a life partner?
I think that different people have a different view on this issue, and I have one too :p To me, I view it as a two part problem.
Firstly, life with that person must be better than without that person, else it will be irrational to even get together in the first place. Doesn’t depend on what others tell you. Better to be single than stuck with someone sucky. I suspect that not everyone follows this rule. But hey, it’s a free world…
The second part of the problem is basically just a matter of decision-making under uncertainty. Should you forego your chance with someone with “potential” in hope of someone better. There are a few classic probability problems that can shed more light on this issue. However, the math is just a tool, applying it to your situation is an art.
Anyway, that’s how I see this issue….
Wah Chin Hon, so scientific as usual!
But I can definitely see the logic in what you’re saying.
anyway, MCYS doesnt think so much..the gvmt just needs more kids. so find any one, imperfections or not and get married n have kids la!
“so find any one, imperfections or not and get married n have kids la!”
You say one ah! Make sure you 说到做到 ok, ha!
I like the way you differentiate “lowering one’s standards” and “accepting imperfections”. They are definitely not the same in my opinion. However I believe many people lump them together as well.
I don’t believe in compromising actually. Just imagine being with a girl/guy you hardly like. Holding hands, kissing etc… Can anyone do so with someone you don’t really like very much? Cannot proceed lah.
I believe there are still many good (or quality) men and women out there. However they may be the “untouchables”? Or perhaps they may be still single because they are trying to find partners in the wrong places.
I don’t think it is a matter of lowering standard that is bothering the singles. It is the environment that they are in.
Having said that, if one is not willing to lower his/her expectations, he/she must be also able to live up to others’ expectations.
“If you want to have a cute girl as a partner, you must be cute in the first place”
Yup, I agree there should be a difference between “accepting imperfections” and “lowering one’s standards”. “Compromising” would lead to friction next time and that’s not good.
I think basically, each person has a “set of criteria” in their minds on the “perfect partner”. It’s a matter of prioritising which is more important, which is good to have, etc.
Anyway, I believe God always wants the best for us.
I recently read that they’re even holding a competition to find the most beautifully imperfect couple on facebook.
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090417/tap-091-mcys-searches-singapores-beautif-231650b.html
Is this going a bit ‘overboard’?
Jerron: Well said!
Lingfeng: Wow…thanks for the news. That’s certainly very interesting indeed! And yeah, I agree that God always wants the best for us. (Romans 8:28)
prob is… sometimes we think we know better than God.
How very true! I find myself doing that one too many times…